the three reasons why
by deadXrose'sXwinter
Summary: everything has a reason and it all depends on the person for how many. the reasons why we harm ourselfs. try to end it all. but to first find ot you must ask why first. follow kagome to find her reasons. WARNING:: self harm
1. Chapter 1

3 reasons why.

Summary: kagome higurashi is a cutter. She does it for three reasons. Read to find out way she does. Disclaimer: I own nothing.

X chapter 1X

The first reason.

I sit alone in the corner like normal my three friends talking of fabulous lives and where they are going when that bell rings. Miroku is going to sangos and spending the night while inuyasha and my twin kikyou are going out. That hurt. I have loved him since the first day I met him. His eyes on me he asked,

"So kags what's going on this weekend with you?"

I shrugged as images of my bloodied wrists pulsed in my mind. My arms already itching and my body already hurting for when it was time to go home. But the time came and I made the trek myself alone. Pushing open the door my father was already.

"Get your ass over here now!"

As I moved his fist raised and came down on my head. His voice a blur as he walks away muttering about a lost cause. I slowly got up and began to crawl my way up the stairs to my room. Collapsing on the bed I found myself in a deep and peaceful daze staring at the cold ceiling of my empty bedroom. All I have is a bed and a single wooden dresser on the left wall. Walking to it I move the picture of my mom who left me in the ninth grade. Under the picture was my silver best friend.

My razor. My savior my only reason why I can stand the thought of my twin and inuyasha being together in the first place.

They are my first reason why I cut. Inuyasha was mine first. I dig the blade deep into my arm and cry as the blood runs uncontrollably down my arm. And as I begin to feel the welcomed numbness I receive a phone call.

Kikyou.

She left with my mom during the divorce. I was left with the monster in the first floor.

"Hello kagome? Inu-kun said you were depressed today are you okay?" her voice was hick with worry.

I couldn't speak but how much I wanted to was unbelievable. I wanted to console my twin. To tell her I was okay and everything was going to be okay.

But I can't.

"Kagome! Answer me or ill come over there now!"

"Kikyou I swear I'm fine .don't come down."

I said a quick goodbye and shutoff my phone. Walking to the bathroom I began to clean and stich my wound. A knock on the door downstairs had me flying to clean up faster.

As I walk down I see it's the two I hate most the reason my arm is so scarred. Inuyasha and kikyou.

Kikyou sees my arm and then comes in more to hug me.

" that wasn't there earlier kagome. Kagome are you cutting?" they couldn't take my happiness away from me. I wouldn't let them.

After all it is reason number 1 : a relationship I couldn't have. A perfect one.


	2. Chapter 2

(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)

The second reason.

After the other day I have had to avoid my friends and sister. But I've found one who understands what I do. And I hang out with him. Naraku Onigumo. He tells me why I do and he also says to wait till I cut and think I might die from it. The closer I get to naraku the more I begin to think I like him more than a friend. He's kind to me and thinks what my father does is wrong. Yes I told him my darkest secret. Telling him had made me want to cut again and I didn't know what to do. So he lent me his razor for the moment. And when he comes to school and forgot his id have one in my locker.

I was always there for him so when he killed himself and his mother father and I were the only one there I couldn't understand. He wasn't harmful to anyone but himself is that why he did this? Had he done this out of loneliness? Was I not a good enough friend for him?

But when I got home I checked my email. He had sent me one last message.

**Dear kagome try to understand that you were one true love. I just can't stand the road I've been going on. I wanted to say that I loved you and will still in death. I wanted you to know I wasn't truthful to you. You were always truthful to me and in turn gave you lies. I was abused at home just like you thinking I could find a way to release myself I began to cut 5 years ago. I was ten then. And as they got progressively worst I was abandoned by those who wanted to help me get past this. Kagome then you came into my life with my same story and you brought out my happy side for a time. But I didn't like the reminder every day that there was still one person in my life who I loved that was in so much pain. So I ended it. I know you probably think this is your fault. And it is not okay? I love you… maybe when your sky comes crashing to the ground I can be your angel in the sky. And when you get tired ill carry you along till you say not to. I'm sorry for this. But this is my final good bye.**

Seeing all that he had said I began to cry. Felt horrible. He was in so much pain that I didn't even notice. I ran to my dresser and pulled out the knife that naraku had given me .I dragged it down my arm the fine line of scarlet oozing its way down my arm leaving a tear trail worth a thousand and one words I could never say. Pressing deeper I felt my bone. Smiling I let the blood run freely down my arm. Dropping down in dizziness and finally passing out.

I woke in dry blood. Kikyou was holding a towel to my arm. Tears ran from her eyes.

"What were you thinking? Was this you final goodbye too? Naraku wouldn't want you to do this to yourself kagome. Nobody likes to see you like this. In pain every day for no reason."

No….. Reason…..

Hmmm. Perhaps to her it's no reason. But as I pull away the towel I see exactly how much damage I had done to my arm. Pink bone as visible and it made me want to smile. I stitched it up and walked back to clean my mess. Scrubbing away blood and memories.

Kikyou left me alone to think and as I held tight to the pain in my arm this was reason number two.

Nobody can really understand it till they've had it happen to them. To have a pain in your heart that won't go away without physical pain. And then you're alone.


	3. Chapter 3

(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)

Chapter 3

The third and final reason.

As the blood weeps from my arm I find my thoughts on naraku again. He as all I can think about anymore the only reason I want to continue on is to think about him but it's getting to my breaking point. The blood is still working but not removing the loneliness of my heart anymore. My friends….. They left me. I'm completely alone now. There is no one. They think I'm sick and need help but I refuse it I don't want it I hate the thought of it makes me sick and I want to cut again. Slowly I walk down the halls. I can hear my old friends laughing. And as pass them I hear them sigh I close my eyes and feel myself stopped. I'm somehow on the ground.

I had run into kouga.

"Watch were you're going you stupid little emo freak."

I stood and ran to the top floor. Kikyou calling after my retreating form. The last straw just pulled.

I took this every day and it was getting old. I couldn't take this much longer. I don't want to.

Seeing as how it wasn't going to stop I would have to stop this myself. I can't hold on.

I want naraku. I want my life. I want this to end. I want…. To be free. But for true freedom it never comes. For this to end, it won't. If I want my life I must start again. And for naraku I will see him again in the next few hours.

But as kikyou catches up I feel faint she doesn't yell at me as she holds me to her … no …. She just cry's with me.

"Kagome. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have abandoned you like I did I should have stayed and helped. When naraku died I should have told you. Kagome he had told me what dad had done to you. I'm so sorry for what happened."

I cried louder. He had cared so much and I was the one who left him alone in the dark.

I ran again as I reached the first floor. Running home from this life. Want this life over with.

Taking the knife I raise it to the inside of my elbow and drag it down in deep gashes. Then the other side.

I was going home. The third reason. Cutting may never be enough for some. And it wasn't for me.

**( authors note: I wrote this for my best friend swore to write something for and now that I have I want my final promise to let her rest I peace now please let me know what you thought of my friends life)**


	4. Chapter 4

Signs and symptoms may include:

Scars, such as from burns or cuts

Fresh cuts, scratches, bruises or other wounds

Broken bones

Keeping sharp objects on hand

Wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather

Claiming to have frequent accidents or mishaps

Spending a great deal of time alone

Pervasive difficulties in interpersonal relationships

Persistent questions about personal identity, such as "Who am I?" "What am I doing here?"

Behavioral and emotional instability, impulsivity and unpredictability

Statements of helplessness, hopelessness or worthlessness

Forms of self-injury

One of the most common forms of self-injury is cutting, which involves making cuts or severe scratches on different parts of your body with a sharp object. Other forms of self-harm include:

Burning (with lit matches, cigarettes or hot sharp objects like knives)

Carving words or symbols on the skin

Breaking bones

Hitting or punching

Piercing the skin with sharp objects

Head banging

Biting

Pulling out hair

Persistently picking at or interfering with wound healing

Most frequently, the arms, legs and front of the torso are the targets of self-injury because these areas can be easily reached and easily hidden under clothing. But any area of the body may be used for self-injury. People who self-injure may use more than one method to harm themselves.

When a friend or loved one self-injures

If you have a friend or loved one who is self-injuring, you may be shocked and scared. Take all talk of self-injury seriously. Although you might feel that you'd be betraying a confidence, self-injury is too big a problem to ignore or to deal with alone. Here are some options for help.

Your child. You can start by consulting your pediatrician or family doctor who can provide an initial evaluation or a referral to a mental health specialist. Don't yell at your child or make threats or accusations, but do express concern.

Teenage friend. Suggest that your friend talk to parents, a teacher, a school counselor or another trusted adult.

Adult. Gently encourage the person to seek medical and psychological treatment.


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